COCK-O-HOOP

I was looking forward to my Friday night out..having stayed in the last two weekends..on the grounds of giving my Liver a rest and the bad back time to sort itself out.  A ‘Ladies’ night at the local pub and hopefully selling some of my books into the bargain was in the offing

The name Ladies Night conjours up all sorts of images.  Elegant women swanning about sipping sherry and exchange knitting patterns and cooking recipes ? The reality of course is completely at the other end of the spectrum. The only lady present would be a Drag Queen compare..in full sequined regalia and coffered hair and very pretty heshe was.  She acted with complete decorum and made us laugh.

Us the audience were, like female wolves all baying for blood.  We were all there for the strippers and the opportunity to completely let our hair down and go back to our base instincts.  Letching over fit naked guys with their tackle out!!.

Years ago this sort of brash and trashy behaviour would have been totally unacceptable from the female of the species.  Men have of course been enjoying striptease by women for a least the last four hundred years in one form or another.  Private clubs were set up and women danced their way into private booths where the act of ‘Lurvve’ was often the outcome. Of course not a thing was said. With the vote came a certain freedom and as the years have rolled on it is ok at last for us women to enjoy the male form in its entirety and even cop a feel.

I had forgotten how much fun these things were, having not attended anything similar since the famous ‘Dream Boys’ back in the day.  I have of course of late enjoyed my own private display of the fit male at its best…but best not digress into that!!! I had been asked to talk about my book and read a small passage from it.  I climbed onto the stage fortified with a little gin and chatted with the girlies about the evening they were looking forward to and then got on to the book and read a piece from Chapter 4…It was about a guy I had met locally that was very well-endowed.  The reading went down a storm and I promptly sold a number of books so all good.

One lady loved my reading so much she asked if I had it on Audio book because she loved my sexy voice…Hmmm something to look into..maybe that would entice the buyers.  Anyway the evening commenced with the Drag Queen who was better turned out than any of us girls and looked stunning.  He turned out to be a Zoo-Keeper from Buckinhamshire who looked after Elephants in his day job…seriousily!  you couldn’t make it up.  But he was very good and had the right mix of empathy with the female audience and didn’t digress into too much filth.

The first stripper was gorgeous honed and toned and handsome he did all the usually things dragging people up on stage for a pretend shag and crude gestures much to the delight of us all.  He eventually poured soap suds over his pecks which I had then pleasure of rubbing in.  His whole body was rock hard..it was yummy.  He swiftly displayed his manhood, also not bad and having rubbed it in a few faces he left the stage.  I then found out he was married with two kids..oh well one way to supplement your income, but things are never what they seem are they ?

The second stripper was more shall we say ‘out there’ he came on as a fireman and made the first ones pretend shagging look like a walk in the park..He then got his todger out and gyrated  it 360 degrees…he was lucky he didn’t have his eye out!!. He wasnt a big guy although muscled up nicely..(reminded me of a certain Toyboy that is immortalised in the book) But his todger was very nice . I was standing at the back and he made a beeline for me naked as the day he was born and whilst I looked him straight in the eye..well anywhere else would have been awkward.  He took my hand and before I could say “mines a large one” he placed his erstwhile and rather large  appendage firmly in my hand!. Laughing my head off . I held it as if it was as delicate  as a butterfly and I might break it. Judging by the way he had been throwing it around there was no chance of that!

It took me back to a moment a couple of hours earlier when I had an impromptu visit from one of my most devoted toyboys…but that’s another story.  Coming to my senses I lead him..by the penis over to a friend of mine who was hiding in the corner..I took her hand and effectively passed the parcel..or in this case passed the penis.  She blushed from root to tip and looking at me helplessly she said” what shall I do with it ?” The stripper gave her a suggestion but with much giggling all round he withdrew himself and his penis from sight.

The drag queen returned and with much raucous laughter we rounded the evening off with a bit of a dance and a few more drinks. I sold a fair few books and had interesting conversations with a cross-section of the female population in this area.  I think we all had something in common..we all love men but couldn’t eat a whole one….

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