DRUNK!

There is something very inviting about a bottle of screw-topped wine. No effort required..no struggling to find a corkscrew and then pulling and pushing to get to the vino inside. Makes it all a bit too easy to pop your cork..so to speak. So here I am having a glass of red. I often question why we drink the way we do ? I use the royal we as it seems universal amongst everyone I know irrespective of the age group. Everyone enjoys a glass or two or three and getting completely out of it on some occasion is perfectly acceptable.

Rather like a right of passage..the falling down, can’t remember the last part of the evening..give me a bowl ..OMG who did I text..snog…shag ?. seems to be all part of the deal in 2012.

It may not be very ladylike to get completely hammered if you are of the older variety but somehow its preferable to sitting in the corner with pursed lips sipping a sherry or even worse a “Soft Drink” with a face like a smacked arse tut tutting about the younger generation. Id rather be falling through the door and dancing like no one is watching me than that! thank you very much. It may not be seemly or sensible but neither is the covert drinker the one that opens a bottle at home whilst sitting quietly watching the tv. They are’nt dancing on the tables but their liver is still under attack.

Drinking was the drug of choice when I was growing up. Creeping into pubs at fourteen with thick pan stick on and smelling of Estee Lauder Youth Dew and broomsticks for eyelashes, we would saunter up to the bar and order a half a Cider..or Vodka and Lime or even a Port and lemon. We would get home on foot..throwing up on the way and then wake in the morning as fresh as daisies. Hangovers didn’t exist courtesy of our young and nubile bodies and very competant livers. Can’t say the same thing now.

A really bad hangover these days can wipe out the whole of the next day! As flashes of your behaviour come back to haunt you the struggle to get your dehydration under control. You munch through the cupboard like a pig at a trough and take painkillers to ease the headache and sore feet. If you have had a great night then the after pains are an acceptable part of the deal. If the night was less than fantastic then you sit there head in hands asking yourself why you had that last sambuka or cocktail.

Drinking excessively may lower your inhibitions and make you do things that the sober you may have put in the caution box. But maybe that is the very reason we drink to the point of oblivion is just so we can have the excuse to act badly and to make us brave enough to do what we really want to!. But in this stressful world where we are bombarded with bad news from all around the world, where the economy is gloomy, marriages hit the rocks,cancer rears its ugly head in every family and life is tough maybe we just need to escape for a short time and just be transported somewhere else and remind ourselves why we are alive. From my experiences a good night out where I have let my hair and everything else down will lift my spirits and enable me to deal with the hard stuff. We are after all only human.

In my capacity of being just such a person I went into the west end with some friends on Saturday to celebrate a birthday. We had a lovely meal albeit small and delicious food and as usual drank far more than we ate. But we had a great evening and after a variety of wine and cocktails I fell out of the cab at four in the morning and banged on my front door to wake my son who was supposed to leave a key out for me as my jailor keys wouldn’t fit into my clutch .

The cab journey had managed to educe a strong need to throw up and pushing past the giant I rushed to the kitchen to get a bowl. He grunted at me and sloped off back to bed. I reached the kitchen and was about to get the cupboard open when my stomach had other ideas and up it all came. Bits of spinach and prawns mixed with raspberry cocktails hit every surface in the kitchen. ..the rest I got in the sink

Grabbing a bowl and heading upstairs on very unsteady feet I knew I needed to sleep or I would spend all night throwing up. I passed out gratefully but was awoken at 11am by giant son who was ranting and raving about the mess in the kitchen and how he wanted breakfast but couldn’t get passed the vomit. I am officially a disgrace !!!!

After the big clear up and as it was Easter Sunday the family descended and we had a lovely afternoon. Luckily Kate was on duty in the kitchen and produced a magnificent roast. My mum came and seemed frailer than usual which is a worry but the picture of her and Matilda heads together making figures out of play doh! was heartwarming. Isaac was fascinated by his giant uncle and kept calling for him at the top of his voice and all was well with the world.

I had a relaxed Monday watching films and tidying up. It’s not Easter until you have watched Ben Hur. Charlton Heston in a skirt and the wonderous chariot race is as always a joy to behold and with Only Fools and Horses classic “The Jolly Boys Outing” as dessert I felt so relaxed I was purring like a cat. With so many good things to look forward too..Butlins 90 reloaded, my nieces wedding in the South of France Ascot, and lots of festivals I feel truly blessed.

I will be giving my system a well earned rest from the wine for a while and with the need to get into a skimpy Policewomans costume for Butlins in two weeks I will be back to eating lettuce leaves and pounding the pavements..no more cocktails for me…at least for now.

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