SPRING CHICKEN

Getting old must be the most disliked thing on the planet.  Everyone hates it and despite all your efforts it is inevitable.  The only good thing about it is that it happens to everyone but does that make it any easier to swallow does it hell! It sucks!!!.

The trouble is that in your head you are still the person you always were.  You have the same feelings,thoughts,desires.hopes and dreams. They may have evolved a bit and adjusted to new and various perspectives and that includes your failing eyesight!. But the you that was is still the you that is!

The body however has other ideas.  Slowly but surely it starts to let you down.  Little subtle changes that become more obvious as time rolls on, and roll it does at an alarming pace. I’m no sooner at my desk with that Monday morning feeling when  the next thing  I know its Friday and I’m looking forward to another weekend. I don’t know if we define time in ways that make it fly faster.  Planned events in my diary lift my spirits and give me something to look forward to but then I’m so impatience to get to the fun stuff I forget to enjoy the everyday .

Someone once said that the path to happiness is to live in the moment and I’m a great believer in finding joy in the small things. That first cup of tea,the smell of fresh flowers and bacon cooking.  The sun on your face during the first flush of spring and the kiss from your new love that makes your stomach fly.  But back to the body in hand.

I decided the last week to have a bit of an MOT.  I had been neglecting certain areas of late and although I was keeping up the exercise it was proving harder and harder to keep in shape.  Talking of shape mine seemed to be changing.  My legs always one of my assets had become a bit chunkier and I can fully understand why Demi Moore had a knee lift im beginning to hate mine and despite exfoliation and loads of cream they still resemble a wrinkled prune. And where the bloody hell did that pocket of fat come from at the top of my thighs.  I swear it wasnt their last year.

I can only presume that it is the result of lack of walking and no horse riding to speak of. After twenty-five years of riding I suppose something had to happen to that wonderful gap at the top of my thighs that had taken years to perfect and was the result of having a horse between my legs for hours on end. But I do the thigh presses and I use the cross trainer and I am very active in other areas.  Maybe I should ride again (horses) not so easy when you are used to your own but I did enjoy that two-hour beach ride in the summer.

Then there is my eyes I havent worn glasses for years I didn’t seem to need them…but lately I have been struggling a bit in the dark when driving and if the light is poor when reading so I booked an eye test.  The news was quite good in fact some areas of my sight had improved but I still need them for driving and reading a bit. £150 later and that was using my old designer frames!

A trip to the dentist next for a thourough teeth clean.  Not the most comfortable experience but so worth it. A mouth full of gleaming knashers and my purse is £45,00 lighter and the need to buy an electric toothbrush or else!

Then for the beauty stuff my hair extensions has just been replaced..kerching..my botox renewed..kerching..no money left ..kerching.  A trip around boots to replace all my pills potions and I swear I keep Eyelure in business with my regular purchase of their excellent product and I am officially brassic.

I decided that with the thighs in mind its time to turn up the exercise and went for a run with Kate.  I coughed my lungs up most of the way and you would have thought that I smoked 40 a day. I had to walk here and there and limped home but boy did I know Id done something. I followed this the next day with a two-hour walk.  Take that you thighs!!

But feeling rather in need to remind myself that with all my shortcomings I am still a desirable woman to some at least the TB that is endearingly persistent was allowed to spend a breathless hour or so between said ample thighs.  I know! I know! I promised myself I wouldn’t but he is sooo good for my ego and I’m sure I’m good for his.  Mine needing some stroking as did other bits of me so I succumbed to my desires. Naughty but nice.

As you can imagine after all this activity I am feeling like a creaking gate but with grim determination and a running partner I am planning a 7am run tomorrow. It also looks like I might have a first date looming as well and having seen a picture of his body (no not that bit)) I had better keep up the hard work. But who knows in the world of dating TBS I can only hope that he wont go flakey!.

Two new perspective dates were due to ring me tonight and so far my phone hasnt chirped once…I daresay the excuses will be texted in shortly. Perhaps they both sound like David Beckham and look like Sir Alf  so I’m probably not missing much.  One of them had the cheek to ask me my bra size.  My answer was “A bit personal isn’t it   ? How would you like it if I said “Penis size please ?”   But then we all know what  happens next don’t we..and with the government thinking of monitoring all our texts and internet activity I had better warn the powers at be that they will be able to check a variety of penises for terrorist activity on mine. Ha!

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