My dating is usually sporadic and uneven with great gaps in between but recently like buses my guys have all come along at once. I had dated six different men in as many weeks. There was no challenge in the dates themselves..I love being in the company of the younger male, there is nothing but entertainment to be found in spending time with them, if you know where to look.
All of my dates I had seen before to varying degrees. If fact two of them were at the relationship level and had spanned many years. Such is the nature of age-gap relationships they refuse to be squashed Into a more conventional shape. So you don’t just date one ! you date several. This is of course to protect yourself against emotional attachment. By dating a variety of gorgeous younger men you don’t focus too much on any one guy. It’s fun and it’s exciting to meet new possibilities, to get to know what makes them tick.
I have written many times about how glorious sex with the younger man can be (as long as you are careful) and I stand by that statement. I am not ashamed to say that I am an older woman that still has a soaring sex drive. Younger men have the ability to take you to heaven and back many times if only you are brave enough to embrace the ride!.
My recent six date challenge has however weakened my resolve making me ask the question ..Is variety really the spice of life ? Does the joy get enhanced by changing things up on a regular basis or does it in fact increase if you spend more time with just one? I decided to consider each of my dates very carefully.
Date 1. A semi relationship spanning over a year that started as a passion fuelled chemical reaction and had continued on an ad hoc basis. Mainly built on the grounds of an impossible to ignore sexual desire laced liberally with a great deal of alcohol. However it did have great moments of affection and began to develop into something more. We both felt it and we hovered on the edge of the cliff trying to get our bearings. As always the large age gap comes into play and the realities of it pull you back from the brink. The chances are that the desire will get the better of us both ..very soon.
Date 2. This was in fact only date two. The first, a lively exchange of banter encouraged by a few long phone calls ending in a passionate and promising kiss. He was bright well educated and very handsome…what’s not to like ? I was looking forward to date two with the anticipation of sitting down to an A-la-carte dinner. He didn’t disappoint me !.
Date 3. Another date two. In many ways similar to date 2. The first having gone very well. No embarrassing silences lots of intelligent conversation and the most gorgeous blue eyes. He was animated and full of life. Well travelled and was very fit ( the biceps were to die for) Our second encounter lived up to the promise of the first and frankly took my breath away…sigh.!
Date 4. A relationship of sorts that had unexpectedly lasted more than five years . Yes it’s the Irishman from my previous blog posts. This date was spread out over four days and was filled with a lot of talking, affection and sex..oh the sex!! We had breakfast,made dinner and went out and got drunk. The chemistry between us is evident to all and we seem to have a very strong bond. The sadness when I leave him doesn’t hit me for a few days and when It does I am miserable and emotional. My way of dealing with this is to throw myself back into dating with the enthusiasm of dog in heat!.
Date 5. A very grown-up catch up over dinner, full of stories and interest on both sides. This guy is charismatic,charming and a massive flirt and we have dated many times over the last two years. He is a little older than the others and a man of the world. The door remains ajar.
Date 6. An unexpected message drops into my inbox .A guy that I had seen a few times four years a go and who I remembered fondly. We had kept in touch but he wasn’t local and well you know how it is But here he was apparently in my neck of the woods and keen to see me. I didn’t hesitate and when he turned up all legs and hair with a big grin on his face I knew I was in for a fun evening. Always the gentleman he reminded me of what I had been missing.
The last two dates had been fun but left me with a sense of unease. Something didn’t feel quite right! Something was missing!. I was trying to work out what was going on in my head when I received a text from Irish asking if I was free for a chat . I was always free for a chat with Irish and when I heard his familiar undulating tones on the phone later I realised what my problem was. He was what was missing and he was messing with my head.!
The question I have been asking myself since that phone call, that stretched into the early hours of the morning and lasted for hours is this ?. .Does multiple-dating protect you from emotional attachment ? When like me you date much younger men as a lifestyle choice you cannot expect to be in a proper relationship ..or can you ? Is it inevitable that even me! a seasoned poly-amorous serial dater will fall in love with just the one ? As the realisation dawns on me, I come to the conclusion that I may be asking myself this question rather late in the game!
Now this is going to be the real challenge!
To find out how it all began read my book Sex and the Signposts available on Amazon.