rainSitting watching the TV on my own in the house, blinds still up, the dark murky April evening having a tantrum outside my window. Grey skies rolling, wind throwing the trees around and the rain hitting the panes of glass and as they hit they fall vertically like tears on the curve of a cheek.

My programme of choice ‘The Voice’ is quite entertaining tonight and one of the singers is a young 18-year-old from Belfast with hair so bright he looks like a Marigold and is absolutely brilliant. My interest is multiplied when I hear him speak…the familiar Irish lilt hits me where it hurts and my longing for my young Irishman rears up from the somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach and bites me firmly on the backside. Damn it!

The rush of longing plays mind games with my brain and I am busy conjuring up his face, his smile, the smell of his skin and then in full Technicolor and running like an old movie full of grainy marks and faltering stops and starts…the sex oh! the sex.

All this despite having some perfectly nice sex this week with another. I sit here pondering the question yet again. Why is it that some people just get under your skin and stay there ?. Others come and go and become distant memories in ten seconds flat. Is it the chemistry ? the meeting of minds ? or in this case the voice ? .

It’s almost indefinable and frankly in my case just part and parcel of the lifestyle that I have chosen to have right now. I just have to put up with the desire and the longing. It’s unlikely that Irish and I will ever get to the stage of being bored and complacent. We will never spend that amount time together or even go to bed and actually sleep. In fact there is a possibility that we will never meet again. Now that does hurt!

But because we had recently discussed a visit which is yet to materialise ( as usual things keep getting in his way and it’s not as if he is just around the corner or even on this Island of ours) I suppose my feelings were running rather high in his direction which is why the young Irish singer was able to make my stomach do the up and over thing.! Although not a comfortable feeling its is a reminder that I am still alive in the world and that should a visit be forthcoming it carries the promise of being a sensual delight of magnificent proportions.!!

stomach holding

Anyway re-running my liaisons with Irish in my head is not a bad idea. Tomorrow I am being interviewed (again) on The Graham Torrington Show BBC Radio Birmingham and the subject is..wait for it.. “Is Sex over-rated ? ” Now let me see..give me some time to think..erm, I’m not really sure….Yeah right! I think anyone whose read my book or reads my blogs will know what side of the mattress I will be on!  It is certainly always top of my to do list but the question is where does it come on yours !? Do tell.


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