Having been laid up with a flu virus for the best part of a week I was bored and a bit irritable. I awoke from another fitful nights sleep hoping that today would be the day I felt better. I hate wasting time and being ill is just that a bloody waste of time..
The week before my illness I had been chatting to various guys on my favorite website TBW. There had been some interesting new ones sending me messages so I had responded. One who figured himself to be a bit of a stud! was very quick to suggest a meeting. Hmm? my experience of someone who jumps in so fast is usually not so good, but giving him the benefit of the doubt I handed over my phone number. His first text asked about exchanging photos..groaning loudly I said with deliberation Photos ? “You know he answered saucy ones “. Oh yes I knew alright, having been sent enough willy picture to wallpaper a whole wall with in the past.I climbed up on my high horse and said “I don’t do those sort..sorry” and then just so he was clear I added and “Please don’t send me any”.
When I started internet dating five years ago as a complete novice I must admit that the endless amounts of Willy Pictures that I had received were a source of some amusement especially ‘Mr Green’ found in the chapter “Radioactive Romance” of my book. But the Novelty soon wears off!. There is something rather offensive about opening a text and being literally hit in the face with something resembling the ‘leaning Tower of Pizza’ in various shades of purple pink and red!.
It is different of course if you have met the subject of the picture and how shall I put it? “had the pleasure” Then it becomes a familar landscape and is not offensive at all and may send you in to day- dreamy reminiscences of steamy evenings where you and its owner shared happy hours. But in the cold light of day when you havent even had breakfast it can leave a very bad taste in your mouth especially if you didnt expect it’s arrival.
The aforementioned stud ignoring my pleas sent me a full torso shot but had the decency to keep his dangly bits hidden. He then asked me again to send one back I sent a simple “Nope” even though he had an amazing body and had he bothered to pick up the phone and arrange a date who knows where he and his appendage would have ended up. But that was never his intention..this sort of internet voyeur just wants to get off on pictures. Admiring his own more in fact than any you would send. He may be married or have a GF and is just looking to have a quiet bit of self pleasuring with an added element namely The virtual you. The moment anyone asks you if you have Skype run for your lives! (Unless of course internet Sex is your thing, everyone to their own) Me ? I’m into engaging all the senses, I like to look into a person eyes and feel the pull of desire before I let it overwhelm me. Just call me old-fashioned.
So on the morning in question as I awoke I got a message from a guy that I had been speaking to and we had actually talked about having a drink Yay!. He was due to ring me but because I had been ill we hadn’t managed that. So here he was again inquiring after my health. I replied, he then asked if he could ask tell me something that may be inappropriate. With a sinking heart I thought “Here we go” and mentally struck him off my list of possibles. He then proceeded to tell me how he had been “W*****g over my pictures all weekend. These would be the ones on my profile BTW. Oh the joys!. He then asked if I would like to see a picture of what I had done to him!? in order and I quote “To cheer me up”
Dear God! Why oh why would a picture of his blood engorged appendage cheer me up from my sick bed.?? Was it going to take down my temperature, ease my aches and pains ? Maybe they should sell pictures of mens willys in boxes at the chemist and we could buy them along with the Night Nurse and the Vicks Sinex! Self absorbed idiot!!. Having given him short shrift he then sent a grovelling apology. I accepted it gracefully and thought no more about him. This morning he again enquired after my health and once I said I was better he then.. thinking I was well enough now to carry on regardless..asked me if we could exchange pictures FFS!! NO! NO! NO!. Give me strength and NOT a Bloody Willy Picture..delete! Next….