I feel I must apologise for my lack of input on here lately. My only excuse is that writing requires an artistic edge and peace of mind that for very good reasons have been eluding me lately. When you lose a child it takes time to come to terms with the world without them. On many a morning I have got up with every intention of taking to my keyboard only to find that the effort required is too much for my strained psyche and I end up curled up in a ball watching endless episodes of Midsummer Murders and Agatha Christie’ Poirot!
When war broke out in the Ukraine I stopped watching the news daily. The carnage it spat out was too much for my emotional fragility and although I like to keep up with world affairs it is my strong belief that the Human Brain was not meant to endure the worldwide suffering constantly being flashed onto our screens. When we are helpless in the situation apart from being able to donate setting our anxiety levels to overload is not helpful especially to our children who are still recovering from Covid and Lockdown as are we all. We have not evolved enough to watch these horrors and park them somewhere in “our little grey cells” without feeling vulnerable and anxious. I have to say my life, such as it is at this gloomy time has ebbed and flowed like the ocean without knowing what cities have been bombed and how many refugees there are. It has changed my life not a jot.
So while my family and I tried to work through various milestones in our first year with out our Darling girl I decided that the only thing to do was to make something positive out of what otherwise a no win situation.
With her Birthday on the horizon I decided to throw a Fundraiser for Cancer Research in her name in Honour of who she was in life. As I set about planning and busying myself getting donations for our raffle which we decided was the best way to raise money I went down with bloody Covid. Having danced around it for all this time I got a whopper of a dose and promptly retired to bed for nearly a week. All the talk of “its only a cold” soon lost kudos with me as I lay in bed coughing, sweating, and aching all over. I was still unwell and positive a week later. My ears hurt and my teeth and nearly four weeks on my teeth still are giving me jip! So Fuck you Covid! and in the words of Dear Deborah James Fuck You Cancer!
Dragging myself off my sick bed I got in my “not having it mode” and threw myself into planning the event with the help of Friends and Family and Clients who were absolutely Fabulous and donated to our cause and did a lot of cooking!.
The day was amazing and a much needed coming together of all those who missed our girl and gave everyone the opportunity to talk about her. I will share below a little video of the day which had the Sun Shining down and just for a while all was well with the world.
I would like to thank all my Family and Friends who helped with selling tickets and cooking (You know who you are)
And in no particular order: The Laurels Beauty Centre, Harley Street Skin Clinic, Response Personnel Ltd, RFP Contracting Ltd, Harling Security Limited, Gillian’s Riding School, Sifcon International Ltd, House of Windsor Clothing, The London Clinic, Blue Sky Events, Hair By Joseph and Eddie Nestor@BBC Radio London who gave us help getting to our goal. I will share the link to the justgiving page in case anyone out there would like to give a little to Cancer Research UK. Please enjoy the video and I hope to be back here soon with some much happier and funnier Dating Tips and stories. Lots of Love Gaynor xx