blondyI havent blogged in quite a while, as usual life takes over and things get in the way.  I certainly wasn’t obstructed by gorgeous Toyboys that’s for sure!. Between my lack of opportunity and their lack of reliability its been like a desert with no sign of a palm tree!!

The male of the species is an enigma. They are sometimes so hard to work out that us girls end up spinning round and round confused and dumbfounded. When the last toyboy that I had been enjoying for some months vanished into the great unknown with out so much as a clue I must admit to being somewhat put out ! Our last encounter, full of passion affection and some amazing sex had led me to think that we would be enjoying more of the same at some point in the future. Nothing was discussed but something had been working over the previous 8 months, clearly!.

But when texts get ignored and opportunities pass you just have to hang up your trigger, finger remove his number from your phone or  download the ‘Drunk Mode’ app to prevent those all too familiar drunken early morning demands! ( yes you know the ones)! It may not be the last I hear from him of course. It has been my experience that they often turn back up when you least expect them but for now that particular door has been firmly closed.

So with opportunity on the horizon I kicked myself up the backside, took myself off to the gym to try and repair the damage done over the winter months and started swiping !.

I love Tinder the ruthlessness of the choosing suits my impatience. Theres nothing to know! just a simple visual aid where decisions are made in a matter of seconds. A face smiles back at you and you think yes please! NO! or maybe ?

The joy of Tinder is that unless they swipe yes to you they need never no you even cared. Take my advice, always have a look at more that one picture . Some can be very deceiving I mean who doesn’t put their best picture forward?, But beware the solitary picture  especially if it’s a really good model type shot. The owner has probably pinched it from google and really looks like Quasimodo!

So as my matches pinged into my inbox I gleefully waited for the messages to arrive. This can take a while so rather then sit killing time and feeling proactive I logged onto my favorite tailor-made website Toyboywarehouse.Com.(TBW)  I usually have unopened messages piling up and I painstakingly read each one checking out the profiles and deciding which ones to answer. Before long I am chatting to a number of potential dates.

I keep this part as short and sweet as possible. After years of playing the long game..I like to cut to the chase. So after a few exchanges I suggest a phone conversation. At this point the potential suitor either happily exchanges numbers with you or goes deadly silent.

Those that are keen will text you fairly quickly. But that doesn’t mean they have serious date intentions. The texting can go on and on. When you push for a phone call excuses will be made. But if the phone call comes and the conversation flows then there is hope that you may actually get to meet a flesh and blood man. Both Tinder and TBW fair much the same here.

So as I answered my messages and proffered my phone number to a tall dark and good-looking man on TBW..At this point my tinder messages start to trickle in.  I engage in conversation with two..who were both gorgeous but very different. I found one very interesting and proffered my phone number. He text me quickly and then phoned and we  chatted happily for 45 mins. With the rapport building..a date was arranged for the next day. All the boxes ticked and the anticipation building nicely.

Back to TBW and messages began to arrive from Mr Tall. If was harder work but eventually a phone call came. He had a sexy accent and I was intrigued . But a date was arranged and then cancelled..then another . My two strikes and your out policy was about to be enforced when his apologetic text won me over.

So my Tinder date was set for Tuesday and my TBW one for Thursday..happy days.. But how would they work out ? . And would they even happen? . Steeling myself for the usual  ‘can’t make it’ text I waited for date one to confirm . When he did with great gusto I smiled..time to get back on the horse.

I met him at a country pub.and when he emerged from the car 6ft 4ins tall, lovely blue eyes and a big smile I did an inward swoon. We got on well and the  goodbye kissing held great promise. With arrangements made to meet again I skipped back to my car.

Thursday came and surprisingly so did my TBW date. This time we met in London so I hopped on a train. We went to find somewhere for a drink but when he sat down at a coffee bar and I said I fancied a proper drink he seemed a bit alarmed but allowed me to manoeuvre us to a place that served alcohol. He was good-looking  but hard to read. As I sat down he commented that I was very Blonde! I looked bemused and said pardon ? he repeated “You are very blonde”  as he raised his eyes to the top of my head to survey my roots!”.Erm very blonde in a good way?” I inquired.” Yes yes” he answered gruffly “ but more so than your pictures “.. Oh dear my bad!

We ordered drinks from a very chatty waiter who seemed to irritate my companion. I apologised as I had to answer a text.. I then put my phone down. He on the other hand text  on and off through our date. Not a deal breaker but when we discussed earlier relationships he said that he loved older women but would not consider a relationship with one!  He would only have a real relationship with someone nearer his own age. I could feel myself getting irritated. So why was I here.?

We could be friends and maybe have some fun he announces. Translated he wanted to put no effort in, he didn’t want to dress it up. He wanted sex  plain and simple and I got the impression that he thought was doing me a big favour in offering his services. He just wanted to Shag me on his way to a relationship with a younger woman. Of course this is true of many but for fucks sake!  have the manners to at least try to seem half interested.

He paid me one compliment though, he said he liked my legs..but only from the knees down.! When the bill came I joked with him about who was going to pay . He joked back  let’s split it. Really?  for two drinks..? How embarrassing.  “.I suppose i should pay it ” he countered. “Yes you should” I answered thinking to myself that as he had bought little else to the table it was the least he could do. Ok he said reluctantly.  I asked again “look do you want me to pay it ? ” as I took it off the table. He looked sheepish and said “But will I lose points ?” and then smiled.  I looked at him long and hard and said firmly  “yes you will”. He fidgeted. But you still want me to pay it don’t you I quipped and he nodded. I presume had I been the younger version of myself on my way to a relationship with this somewhat cynical man he would have gladly got his wallet out in order to impress me!. I paid the bill thinking that Quasimodo would have been better company!

So two dates in a week one with the Wow! Factor and the other was about as enjoyable as having a root canal. So the scores on the doors so far Tinder -1. TBW-…..

So with the male brain still remaining a complete mystery I have decided that some research is required. So today I am attending a seminar called “Get the Guy” run by a man! about men and how to ensnare them!. I can’t wait and look forward to sharing my new-found knowledge with you all.!


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