I have had the most stressful day! Being a capable worldly person with a caring nature, I am like a magnet. When people have a problem they hone in on me! Whether it be Love or relationships, Psychology and Sex, Work or Money I am the one everyone comes too. My strength of character forged on the hands that life had dealt me, means that I am equipped to deal with nearly every eventuality.
The fact that despite all the SHIT that life has thrown me I still remain upstanding and full of hope means that people cling to me like drowning sailors to driftwood.I find it hard to turn my back and leave people floundering when there are obvious and direct steps that they can take to redeem their situation. But even I have may a breaking point.
Today has been the mother of all days. I have dealt with Insurance issues, my daughter’s best friend’s car was stolen and they are not paying out because she cannot locate her spare key! seriously who hasn’t lost a key or a set of keys especially a busy woman with two jobs and a lot of stress not to mention a menstrual cycle to take into account. Any bloody excuse to sidestep the claim. BASTARDS! Three phone calls and a long letter later I am on the case. The poor accused is fed up depressed and covered in cold sores due to the stress and without any family network, I have become the focus of her support.
My other friend the one that I mentioned in earlier blogs in need of mental health and with housing issues, is till striving to resolve her situation and is constantly in contact. Various emails are being dissected and now her partner is also checking in and falling apart. I realise quickly that as always there is two sides too every story and feeling gut wrenching sorry for him I know that all of this is going to end in tears and is far from resolved.
In the meantime my daughter had phoned to say she has had a big showdown with her boss and wants to talk to me about it and a good friend of mine emails to say that she is sorry for lack or response but that her Father has just died!! This is swiftly followed by another phone call from a dear friend to tell me that an acquaintance of mine that I saw again for the first time in a long time last night has just lost her only daughter aged 30 !.
Reeling from all the stress and wondering where the hell god has gone to ? I am convinced in my belief that we are all on our own in reality and as I told the bunch of Jehovah’s that trumped-up on my doorstep yet again with copies of the Bloody Watchtower. Religion is for the faint hearted. It’s for those that can’t deal with the brutality that real life dishes out on a daily basis. Believing that we are part of a greater plan may be a comfort to some but from my experiences and everything that I have read or researched, Life’s a bitch and then you die. End of ! and dust to dust means exactly that . We are just biological beings with a brain! Which makes it harder or us to deal with death.
Finally and with the flat empty and available my only remaining toyboy emails to say that he has to work late and can’t make it over!. If ever I needed to remind myself that I was alive and why ? tonight was the night!. Some rampant uninhibited sex was just what the doctor ordered but alas it was not to be! So with a bottle of wine and some fags at the ready I am in front of the TV watching “Grey’s Anatomy” trying to make sense of the world and writing this.
My Best Friend in the whole world texts me from Australia and reading my distress phones me immediately . Having unloaded some of my angst I have no choice but to take a deep breath and get on with it!. otherwise all those people who rely on my advice and help will be in a worst place.
Tomorrow heralds the start of Christmas proper and in order to cope with everyone’s distress I need to inject some joy into my life . So with the first day of Christmas proving to be a challenge I am hoping that day two will send some fun and pleasure in my direction. A night out with a some GFS watching fit young men strumming guitars will be a good place to start…and then bring on the office Christmas party on Friday
ps .I also discovered that a TB that I had been getting to first base with is in fact married! No wonder he went off the radar and the point was? Idiot …
