I opened my eyes and groaned..god did I really feel this bad. An impromptu visit to my friend Amanda’s for a catch up had led to some large glasses of wine being consumed followed by an even large glass of  Bailey’s. My stomach being empty as yet again I was trying to lose some of the same two stone..you know the one from 2010 2011 2012, the alcohol rushed into my bloodstream at an alarming rate and before I knew it I was as pissed as the proverbial parrot.

I walked home..made some pasta ..ate it like it was my last meal on this planet and then text various people I shouldnt. Why ? WHY ? I had been looking forward to a quiet evening in with a lettuce leaf and smidgen of very low-calorie ..almost..synthentic mayonaise and watching my Monday night programmes “Scott & Bailey” followed by the gruesome but brilliant Spartacus. Instead I gorged on calorific fat laden rubbish..saw ten minutes of Scott and Bailey and passed out.

I took myself up to bed and slept badly waking a number of times and feeling nauseous. I rose early and set about tidying up. The kitchen was in a state of dissarry and there were clothes everywhere. I ushered the old dog out into the garden and discovered that she had peed all over the sofa bed on which she was laying. Great!!. Taking the soggy covers off I put them in the wash but what the bloody hell was I supposed to do with the big foam cushions. They were also wet. The strong smell of dogs wee is just what you need when your stomach is already trying to creep out of your throat!

I took a deep breath and then set about clearing up. A large cup of tea in my giant mug one of my stomach tablets and a bit of toast and I felt almost human again. I had a bath and put my face on and was drying my hair when my phone went ping! I had an email from my favorite but absent TB the one that just can’t quite put me down. I smiled I had only said to Chloe yesterday that he was due to get in touch as there is a pattern and almost as if he heard me there he was.

I didn’t reply immediately let him wait I thought. I answered him at lunch time and the usually dialogue followed..”he misses me” “still gets excited thinking of me” and the usual sexual references that get us both in a froth. He bought me up to date with his life and I did the same.

Talking as usual about a possible visit but I know in my gut that this is unlikely the idea of it however never fails to have me re running our many nights and afternoons of passion in my head. Almost as we say our goodbyes another email pings in to my BB. This time it’s another TB that has been on the missing list for some time. Must be something in the air. I berate him for his absence and then realise that a text I was expecting from an older guy telling me whether or not we were on for a date tonight has not materialised. Honestly !! doesn’t matter how young or old ? they are all Flakey!!.

Work is busy and I get a call from a temp that is due to start a booking for us tomorrow saying that she can’t go! I bang my head on the desk. My poor client..this temp was a replacement for the one that was due to start Monday. That one who had come to see us completed all the forms and was really pleased to get the work had just not turned up on Monday morning. I got some half-baked excuse from her dad that was a blatant load of Bollocks!! Here we go again. Grovelling apology to client and off we go looking through CV after CV i n the hunt for another.

My phone starts ringing and looking at the number I realise it’s yet another “Flakey” TB that has been promising me a phone call for weeks. I ignore him ..he’s an idiot!. This is followed by a text from my sweet little TB who I did see for a bit but decided that he was too close to home and knew too many people who I did. His endearing persistence is a quality I wish some of the others would adopt. He wants to meet up later I say I can’t and he tells me that “I’m out-of-order” in a nice way. But there must be something in the air…the whiff of spring is making them all come out of the woodwork.

In the meantime a drama is unfolding outside the office. We had notified out landlord that a large wire had become exposed at the front of the building not for the first time. After lots of investigation it is discovered that the offending wire has nothing to do with us and belongs to Virgin Media and the building next door. The landlord organises Virgin to come and remove it and they are booked in for tomorrow! A council man had stuck his head in to moan about it and say it was dangerous but we told him we had it covered. But before it can be sorted poor old local man walking by catches his foot in it and crashes onto the pavement.

Blood everywhere and s suspected broken nose a crowd gathers and I phone for an ambulance. The poor chap in his late seventies is as white as a sheet and still on the pavement… Ambulance arrives out we go with a chair and some tissues the traffic grinds to a halt

Off he goes in the ambulance and we go back into the office to finish the day. As I’m walking home I stop to talk to someone who works at a client of ours up the road and he tells me they are looking for staff and who to contact. Writing the name down I head into the Co-op to get a pizza for giant son who has already text me “whats for dinner?” I feel the need for a cigarette and buy a small box of silk cut that will last me some weeks.

Crossing the road I bump straight into an ex-toyboy of mine who I havent seen in ages. He grins broadly at me and I ask him how he is ? He was my first younger man experience after the ex run off with Horseface. I decided not to stop but we exchange smiles and our eyes say it all. He married recently and I wonder in my head whether it will last knowing him as I do . I hope it does …but reliving that first time with him on that sultry summers evening..I skip up the road with a spring in my step! More of those please Universe..thoughts become things don’t they?.


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