My divorce papers arrive,the bed moves,and I wear pink fishnets..on my hands

A letter plopped onto the mat and seeing the post mark was Norwich  I thought Ah! news from Norfuck!. (makes a change from bills I suppose)  The flimsy bit of paper announced plainly that the my divorce from M would be finalised on the 31st October..unless of course I contested it.  Having been separated for three years there is no issue but my god it had taken him a long time to get around to it.  I had made it quite clear that getting divorced was not a priority to me and my only stipulation was that I wasnt paying for it. Apparently it had got in front of a judge last December but my Ex had forgotten the date he married me (Nice) and put down something else..the judge threw it out and that was that.

I did wonder how long after her next door aka “Horseface” got her divorce settlement M would make his move.  I had two theories on the go. One was that he didn’t want to marry her and was blaming me for the delay and the other was that not wanting to look like a money grabbing opportunist he would casually leave a respectable gap and then proceed slowly forward until it seemed ok to get married again. It would seem that the latter was now true.  The question is will he marry her ? my guess is yes..she is now in possession of in the region of £150 grand..he likes to spend money preferably someone elses and im sure she will want that as validation and proof that she did the right thing leaving her husband and abandoning her two teenage sons. She wants to be the new Mrs G. Evans..although the name “Shergar” would suit her better. That said,  I did watch” The Shining “the other day and she is the dead spit of Shelly Duval and I’m sure she is starring in her own horror movie on a daily basis (I know what a tyrant he can be)

He asked me once if I would change my name..I said absolutely not..my name has been Evans for far too long and  now im blogging in the name he used to call me with affection “Gingerbird”  so he can sod off!! Plus there is our son to consider and which name would I use ? My maiden name “Sutton” or my other married name “Smith”.  Its far too complicated so he will just have to do one and if he does marry “Shelley” then there will be two Mrs G. Evans…but trust me she will never fill my shoes. She has to get hers from a Blacksmith Ha!.

On the date front I have been on two very different dates in the past week or so….

Although exhausted from my Butlins weekend ..my Birthday celebrations continued onward into the week and I had one more box to tick.  I had arranged a liaison with a TB that I had been seeing recently.  My daughters flat was empty for two nights so I had invited him over.  He came baring a bottle of Champers and then proceed to bare all!. Passionate and sexy and always very pleased to see me it was not long before we retired to the bedroom and spent a couple of hours disturbing the neighbours and making the bed move clean across the room..Yum!.  He is growing on me..this one and the birthday bubbly was a nice touch!!.  Happily satiated I dropped him back at the station and went home to catch up on some ZZZs.

My second date was somewhat different. This would be a first date so slowly slowly.  Originally I was going to meet said TB in London for drinks but as the flat was empty and having been speaking to this guy for sometime I decided to offer to make some dinner. He was happy with the idea and with my spicy meatballs cooking in the oven I picked him up from the station. As he climbed in the car I could see him looking at my hands and felt compelled to offer up an explanation…

Amongst my birthday gifts and I had lots,  my darling daughter had purchased for me some very expensive anti- ageing hand cream.  I try hard to keep in shape and look after my skin etc..but years of riding my horse Guinness out in the summer sunshine had meant that the back of my hands were quite sun-damaged and I had a lot of the dreaded age spots!!. I hated then with malice and had been told about this incredible stuff that took them out. Your hands always give you away and they did look older than the rest of me..so I couldn’t wait to give it ago.  Following instructions I carefully put the required amount on the back of my hands nightly.  Nothing seemed to be happening much so I carried on..I could feel a tingling but that was about it and maybe  just maybe I just used a little too much on night 5.  Suddenly my hands were on fire.  All goody, I thought its working..so I carried on..two days later my hands looked like I had a disease..red raw,,swollen and flakey.  Getting advice I was told to cease immediatley..and then I realised I had a date looming. In a state of panic I went in search of gloves but couldn’t find anything I could bear to wear . Phoning a friend in desperation she said jokingly that she had some luminous pink fish net fingerless gloves that were part of a fancy dress outfit.  I said  they will have to do! and whipped round to her flat to get them, she couldn’t stop laughing as she handed them over asking “how are you going to explain them ?”. Waiving then above my head I said “honesty is the best policy”  and with her still giggling I raced off to get ready.

So.. as he looked at my pink engloved hands clutching the steering wheel I  offered up my explanation “Erm please don’t think I’m a sexual deviant” I had probably already got his hopes up ! I explained about the treatment.  He took it in good part and at least the gloves offered some protection and I didn’t want him thinking he had extra parmesan grated on his pasta!!!!  The evening was pleasant enough ..but not as diverting as I was hoping.  Maybe the gloves had put him off his stroke.(not that there was any..stroking that is!) and although we talked about another date im not convinced that he will follow-up or that im bothered. ..in the meantime im getting through no end of  hand cream..the normal kind of course!

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