Following the revelations of my last blog I was struggling to cope with things which is unusual for me as I can deal with huge amounts of stress. I was clearly on overload and having screamed and shouted at certain people I was still not able to come down from the high and anxious place I had worked myself up into.
There were a number of situations about to implode and there was little I could do to prevent them from doing so. What I knew for sure is that when they did, the fall out would head in my direction at one hundred miles an hour. All I could do was stand back and wait and then deal with it when and if it happened. It would be nice to be able to relax but my life has always been challenging.
I was pleased then that later in the week I did hear from Irish and arrangements were made for a visit the next day. What this meant apart from the obvious (rampant and delicious sex) I could re-boot myself with his help. He would be able to talk me down from the tree and just the sound of his soothing Irish lilt would help wash away my anxiety. Of course until he actually arrived the worry of will he wont he ? and what time ? would temporarily add to my angst.
Albeit it later than planned I was eventually winging my way to the station to collect him right in the middle of watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony. Once back at the flat I put the TV on and we settled down wine in hand to watch the rest. We talked endlessly about everything in between enjoying the show unfold. We were soon cosied up on the sofa and as I listened to his stories and snuggled up I could feel myself relaxing slowly. As my anxiety lowered my desire rose. Once the kissing started it wasnt long before our clothes were on the floor.
It was much later the next day after our own personal marathon, that I reluctantly took him back to the station. What happened in between was just what I needed and as usual he took me to heaven and back a number of times. I was so inspired that I wrote a very detailed and intimate account of it which I have added to the book. I hope if you buy the book you will blush accordingly.
Talking of the book the proof eventually arrived and having gone over it with a fine tooth comb I am now waiting for the re-worked one to be approved and then hopefully by the end of August it should be available to all. I again was full of self-doubt about its contents and whether I was doing the right thing bearing my soul and my knickers for public scrutiny. I thought about it deeply but decided that I was committed and too far up the road to get an attack of the colly-wobblys now! I had been on national TV talking about the “Toyboy” phenomenon on two occasions and soon to appear again. No point being shy now. Anyway as life has been less than kind to me in the past talking about the joy I find in my life now that I am in charge of it is a positive step. After all im not one to spare the truth for the sake of some misguided propriety. If people don’t want to know all the gory details then they just wont read the book.I have a feeling that a number of readers just can’t wait.
The whole world has got Olympic fever and I think its been a great experience. Yes I would have loved to have gone and Yes I did try really hard to get tickets but I have enjoyed the coverage and can be heard screaming at the TV from a long distance. Come on Team GB.Nice to see the Lottery money that has been invested in the support of Sport has not gone to waste and we are winning medals in so many areas. It’s been a great tonic and London has been buzzing with excitement.
I shall miss it all when it’s finished but I have V Festival on the horizon to distract me. I plan to enjoy myself and am praying for some good weather because frankly this must be one of the worst summers on record and its bloody depressing, As I’m writing this there is torrential rain and black skies looming. So V is going to be wild I hope with Irish due to fly home next week I will need to find some fun. I am going to miss him all over again and will for the second time in the last two years have to deal with it! Why do I bother I hear you ask ? Its simple really,because the Joy outways the sadness that follows. I will be reminding myself of that in the days after he leaves as I drown in my wine glass.
One or two of my more stressful situations have resolved themselves for the time being. My best friend who was very ill is on the mend and work has picked up and I live to fight another day. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, next week, next year . You just have to keep calm and carry on. I heard on the TV that X factor is due to start shortly and we all know what that means…Christmas is looming ..EEK!