Chapter Five

Radioactive Romance

After my first couple of toyboy encounters, I was both encouraged and intrigued.  If I could arouse this amount of interest in person, I wonder what I could do on the internet.  One Sunday morning, some months before whilst looking at my pine tree and reading the newspaper – The Mail, I had been leafing through the magazine supplement, when I came across an article on a new website for the ‘older woman seeking the younger man’! sounded fun and I got out my diary and scribbled the web address in the back.  When I get out of this prison, I thought, I will give that a try.

It was some time later in the office when I joked with Chloe that I remember something about this website for toyboys.  It was lunchtime so she quickly googled it and came up with it in an instant.  “Go on” she pleaded “put up a profile”.  I hesitated, I was already on Facebook which she had entreated me to do and this had proved quite entertaining.  Then I said “Oh what the hell, go on”.  Five minutes later, I was on the site; picture loaded and called ‘Gbird’.

I didn’t really pay much attention for the first few weeks but used to log on to see if I had any interest.  To my surprise I did – loads of it!  Lots of cards telling me “you’re gorgeous”, “you float my boat” or winks.  It was very ego boosting even if some of the guys were less than appetising.  Some months later, when having moved and got settled in my Victorian terrace with views of the Co-operative, I got bored one evening.  My daughter had got me a reconditioned laptop on the cheap (I’m still using it now).  Winter had set in and I was cosy and warm in my front room, glass of wine in one hand and was updating my Facebook page, when I decided to take another look at TBW (as it is known in all the best circles).  It required me to upgrade to silver membership if I was to read or send any messages.  It was only a tenner for a month and I thought ‘in for a penny in for a pound’.  I had a number of messages, looked at them all and the pictures of the senders and decided to reply to some of them.

This was uncharted waters and I had no idea how to respond or what was expected, but I tried a few things and started dialoguing with various ‘toyboys’.  They were all very complimentary and spoke in terms of “wish I was there with you hun” or “you’re so hot you’re making me horny”.  Some couldn’t wait to talk very explicitly about their desires and offered to send me more daring photos.  This would be the start of my collection of ‘Willy Pictures’, (I had kept the one that my Ascot Stallion had sent me). Once my phone number had been handed over a few texts would be followed by the inevitable picture of the sender’s privates in various stages of arousal.

At first I was shocked and then I found it funny and would roar with laughter at the various shapes, sizes and types that would appear, as if by magic!  They became of great interest to my friends who would grab my phone to see the latest arrival.  One night after a lively evening out with the girlfriends I received a text from a gorgeous hunk with muscles to die for that had been sending me messages for a while.  Without asking permission he sent me ‘the picture’.  It was quite clear, but for some reason, probably bad lighting, the erection he was so proud of was bright green and had an eerie glow!  Laughing out loud I speculated as to whether it was radioactive?  Perhaps that’s what happens to willies when they are sent via mobile phone!  With tears rolling down my face, I sent something appropriate back and saving the picture for future amusement, I went to bed.

My collection of willy pictures was infamous locally, and it amazed me that these guys didn’t mind exposing themselves so publicly.  I was often asked to send a picture back and used to find a nice fully clothed one and wing it off to them.  I knew that wasn’t what they wanted, but if they thought I was going to send a picture of my private parts to their phone they were very much mistaken.  You never know where it would end up and they might even show it to their friends!  It got to the point where I had so many different ones on my phone I was seriously thinking of setting up my own website called ‘Willy’s are us’, headed up of course by ‘Mr Green’.  It certainly would have added to the argument that all men are equal but some are definitely more equal than others.  Over the course of months, I deleted most of them keeping just a few and one in particular that could only be described as magnificent. This man could have made a fortune in the Porn industry.

My first actual internet date was a disaster.  The young man concerned, highly intelligent obviously, but with no dress sense, nothing like his picture and with an unexpected stutter!  I wondered why he had never taken up my invitation for a chat on the phone!  It was really bad. We had met for a drink and it was a very painful hour and a half.  I had instructed my daughter to ring me mid-date to check on my safety.  I wasn’t in any danger, unless being assaulted by spit counted.  I felt really sorry for him and was polite and friendly and had to fight to stop myself finishing his sentences.  Making my excuses, I left as early as possible.  But not before he had lunged at me for the inevitable goodnight kiss.  Not knowing the right way to extricate myself, it ended in a full blown snog.  He certainly didn’t suffer with delayed lips and I sort of made all the right noises and then made my escape……….

You can read what happened next!  ‘SEX AND THE SIGNPOSTS’ available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle its Steamy!!!


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