Yes I know it’s a funny place to hide it but the brain is without doubt the biggest sexual organ we possess.  Engage the brain is a common saying but where sex is concerned it really is important.  The brain like the engine of a car has to run on all cylinders in order for us engage in sexual activity.

I expect this is why when we are drunk so many of us succumb to our sexual desires because  our sense of reasoning has been sent up the swanny and all we are left with is our base instincts.  Thinking logically about whether we should or shouldnt isn’t even a consideration.  We get deep into our drunken psyche and are able to just enjoy the physical sensations. 

Over the last few days I have been receiving emails from the TB that I saw for long time who is now in a settled relationship but can’t quite put me down.  We start with pleasantries and then as we always did,  slip into sex texting.  We relieve those many evenings and afternoons by using the written word to inflame our senses.  Why does it work when there is no visual stimulation ? No person in front of you to kiss and stroke and give eye contact to.  I can only suppose that the brain stimulated by the words pulls the memories to the fore front  and somehow your body is fooled into thinking that sex with the person who is texting you imminent. The feelings rise from deep down somewhere and before you know it all you can think about is sex sex SEX!. After nearly two days of these emails flowing back and forth I go to bed thinking about it and wake up STILL thinking about it !. My frustration is huge but then he and I always did make the earth and the bed move.

It’s the same principle with phone sex although I think the fact that it engages your hearing sense makes it more enthralling and of course you are to a degree  at least having a form of human contact.  So I suppose sounds also act as a stimulus. It begs the question of how we ever coped with out mobile phones and emails.  Who among you can remember the time when we only had the “house phone”.  It was a great big thing and usually sat on a table out in the hallway by the front door where everyone could hear your conversation. Can you imagine engaging in phone sex with your long distance boyfriend with your parents a few yards away. No bloody chance! And the nearest we ever got reading words on sex was when the Lady Chatterley’s Lover came up in our GCSEs .( We were all in love with Mellors)  I do remember that my best friends dad used to have a collections of books on the “Joy of Sex” hidden in their house. When he was out we used to read them in shocked silence and more importantly trawl over the pictures. (we were only eleven).

I also recall when I became sexual active at the grand old age of 17 buying a monthly magazine produced by Marshall and Cavendish all about Sex . I had bought the whole collection (Actually I think I still have them at home  somewhere in the attic) having decided that I needed as much information as possible about this thing called sex. Sex education in those days was limited and I hadn’t been lucky enough to have been subjected to that mother and daughter chat that we were supposed to expect. My Mum Bless her, had told me that because I had kept and bred rabbits she thought I knew all about it Ha! I could have been forgiven then to think there was only ONE position in existence and the word “Rabbit” has a very different connotation these days! So having read my magazines from cover to cover and armed with the knowledge I went forth and enjoyed myself.  Although back then I was very well-behaved and didn’t notch up very many numbers on my bedpost. (I got married very young). Dont think I would like to count them now!. 

That said I firmly believe that sex is good for the soul.  It’s a human experience and is vital to our well-being. The feelings of joy that the body experiences during sex (and lets face it we are designed to enjoy it) lifts the spirits and  gives us the feel good factor.  I do miss not having it on tap and as I’ve said before woman are in charge of the sexual allowance in a relationship usually.

Phone sex is great, text sex is a brilliant warm-up but nothing beats the real thing.  Providing you are careful and yes we know that all men hate condoms with a passion but in this world of multiple partners it pays to be cautious.  We will all make mistakes and take a chance  it’s just the nature of the beast.. Our desires especially when enhanced with booze will win the battle over caution every time. But if you can be sensible on the whole then you stand a much better chance of staying safe.  After all we are only human and sex is a free and natural part of our make-up. In this time of austerity we need all the joy we can get.  On that note I’m off to see if I can find those copies of Marshall and Cavendish to brush up my skills. This will be followed by a cold shower….


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